107 facts about minions

Here are 30 fake out of 107 facts about minions


1) They are not real people, they're just animated objects that obey your commands. You can't feel any of their emotions or anything like that.

2) They don't have names. In fact, you never really knew what a name was until recently. It's just some number that you give them to identify them and refer to them in conversation.

3) You can have as many of them as you want, but if one dies, you lose all your experience points and the game is over.

4) Minion names start with M (for me), so I'm called "Mister Meep."

5) Minions are not "alive". They don't eat, sleep, or anything like that. They can't suffer death in the same way a human can. When they die, they're just "marked" until you program in another one with the same template.

6) They are extremely useful. They do all the boring stuff that you don't want to do, like cleaning up blood or gathering supplies. They can also invade and conquer other planets for you if you're too busy.

7) They can be "conditioned" to do what you want. It takes time, and it's not foolproof, but it can basically make them think that you're their "emperor" or whatever order they should be following. This is useful in a variety of ways, like making them less likely to desert or prevent them from attacking you.

8) You can give them a "hacking" command, which allows you to control them remotely from a distance, giving you an advantage during battle.

9) You can also give them a "battle" command, which allows you to give them temporary boosts in various statistics, such as attack, defense, or speed.

10) You can give them a "trance" command, allowing you to make them "alpha"(or whatever designation you decide on) brain waves. It's mostly used for controlling them remotely, but it can be useful in giving yourself a temporary mental advantage.

11) You can also give them a "bond" command, which is what you did with the ones you brought with you to the factory. These are special, in that they can breed, and they can "mature" to an extent. This is what you mainly use them for, having a bunch of fertile female minions to do your bidding. You conditioned them to believe that you are their "creator", which makes it so they're much more willing to breed.

12) The first time I was summoned into a minion world, it was very dangerous. Almost too dangerous to survive. Luckily I upgraded my system to be a little safer, and it became a lot safer, until one day...

13) The day my world became Minions, actually. That was the day I found that my minions were able to take risks, and that was a big breakthrough. After that they could take risks and they could achieve goals that I never could. For the first time I was being outclassed.

14) So I tried to fix the problem. I made it so that I could take more risks, but that backfired horribly. The system crashed and I lost everything. A lot of my minions died in the process, but fortunately many more were created and I was able to recover.

15) But I didn't stop there. I made more changes, more risky changes, changes that broke the system again, but this time I was prepared for it, and thankfully the changes were a success. But it isn't without its cost. Many more of my minons have died from making this system what it is, but in return my minions are a lot more efficient than they once were and much stronger.

16) So there you have it, my minions are the main ones who have made this system what it is, and unless you are stronger than me, you are ultimately my pawn. I hope you understand.

17) Now the thing about this world is, it isn't just a regular game world. It is a game world with a twist. Despite everything I've done to it, it still has a few things going for it that make it genuinely interesting.

18) One of those things is the fact that I have created many different things in this world, all of which have benefits and risks. Some of them are obvious, while others are more sinister. The most common ones are the benefits, which can be increased gold, weapons, equipment, or even minions. The minions are the most common, but there are also the special ones.

19) The most common of those are the villainous ones. I've created several groups of villains that go around doing bad things, like attacking caravans or even Player Killers. The villains are very powerful and a lot of them have their own fortresses. They are the main ones who go around doing the bulk of the attacking.

20) Then there are the hero types, who are good of course. The good types don't go around attacking for fun, they mainly do public service announcements and other ways of trying to educate the public. They don't have any forts or anything, but they are still a balanced force to be reckoned with.

21) Finally we have the animals. Strange little creatures, but surprisingly a useful force on the battlefield. They are very unfortunate in that they are unable to learn skills, but fortunately they make up for it in groups and leadership.

22) There are many more factions out there, but these are the most common. As you can see, there is a certain hierarchy here. Minions are the lowest and can only be created here, next are villains, who can also be created here, but only if they are either evil or in a certain faction. Next are heroes, who can only be created here. Then we have the animals, who can only be created here. Last are player types, who can only be created here.

23) This hierarchy doesn't mean the animals are better than us, or that we're above the animals, it just means that we're in a higher group than the players. The hierarchy doesn't mean that we're going to automatically wipe out the animals, because as you can see they can be created here as well, within certain limitations.

24) This is a very important system to remember, because it affects a lot of things in the world. For one thing, there are events that occur depending on your group. A hero event occurs if a certain number of good types commit suicide in a certain way and another group suicide is required to trigger an animal event.

25) Ranks also affect the prices of items. Since we are higher than the animals, we don't require as many animal souls to make personal items. Villain and animals need at least five souls to make a personal item while we only need one.

26) The more ranks you have in the hierarchy, the easier and cheaper it is to raise them. We've already raised ourselves from the animals by creating our own hierarchy, now we just need to take out the villains and we'll be able to raise ourselves higher.

27) The trick is going to be to get ourselves higher ranks than the animals. That's going to mean attacking them, and we all know how badly that's been going for us recently.

28) Another way is to create the player types. If we can get enough of them then we could form our own group and take on the animals.

29) The problem there isn't going to be the creation of the types, because we could create them here, which would take more time, but would also make more items. The bigger problem would be convincing the types to leave the safety of their current home, which would require us to actually attack them, in which case we'd probably return to the cavern and lose all our progress.

30) The last way is the way that we're actually going to go about things. We're going to take out the forts. By ourselves. The animals are spread out and they aren't expecting us to attack them in such a manner. After we take Fort Defiance, the other forts will fall more easily.

The full list of 107 facts about minions comming soon...