Tiger milk bars nutrition facts

 
Foolish tiger milk bars nutrition facts

1) Tiger Milk Bars are a staple of the American diet, and they're made from the milk of tigers! How cool is that?

2) The first tiger milk bar was opened in New York City in 1892 by a man named John J. Galt. He claimed he did it to raise awareness for the plight of wild animals.

3) In 2006, there were only two companies producing tiger milk bars: PETA and Dannon. Dannon's milk bars are manufactured by the Chatham, New Jersey-based company White Mountain Foods, and they're the only ones that still use traditional methods (like, say, milking actual tigers).

4) In order for a milk bar to be considered "authentic", it has to be made, shipped, and eaten in fifteen minutes or less. The fifteen minutes allows for it to be eaten on the go, by commuters rushing to work.

5) You can tell the difference between a regular milk bar and a "Real One" by looking at the wrapper. If a regular milk bar wrapper has the words "Delicious" or "New York City" printed on it, then you've got a regular milk bar. A "Real One" wrapper has the words "Tigers milk" or, even better, "Hand-milked by a real tiger" printed on it. You can't just order a "Real One" from 7/11.

6) When you bite into a "Real One", the wrapper crumbles a bit, and a slight taste of tiger comes through. It's kind of like a sweet, gamey yogurt. (Many people say it's somewhat reminiscent of tuna fish, which may or may not be accurate. You won't know until you try it. Or don't.)

7) An entire bag of "Real Ones" is enough food to keep a person (a growing person, at that) full and sated for quite some time.

8) It is a misconception that eating a milk bar will make you grow to be the size of a house. In fact, it will probably make you grow slightly taller.

9) If you leave a milk bar wrapper in a place that is supposedly "traveled to" (like, say, a bathroom), then the crime lord Dimebag is bound to find it. He then will leave the wrapper in "investigative" mode until he figures out that you were the one who left it there.

10) It is bad to keep the components of a milk bar separated. If you're not sure how to make something, just don't eat the pieces of the milk bar that have been dipped in nutmeg! Get all the pieces in your mouth at once and you'll be fine.

11) You can make a milker out of several milk bar wrappers. It's not the best milker in the world, but then again, when is it?

12) If you really want to make a beer milker, all you have to do is tear off the wrapper at an angle and fold it over a few times. This type of wrapper is better at trapping the foam than the classic type.

13) Speaking of beer...did you know that many of the milk bars in America used to make their own German beer? They didn't use real yeast, of course (what the hell would they use on a plane?) and instead of hops they used pine needles.

14) P.O.D. (Pissed Off Drunk) Professional fighters are paid two milk bars each night of the fight if they make weight. If the fighter is "pissed off drunk" when he steps on the scale, he gets four.

15) Snickers milk bars have a higher fat and calorie content than other milk bars.

Well, there you have it. 15 silly tiger milk bars nutrition facts.

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